I have had several messages asking about the problems we have had with this last pregnancy with Harper. I have been without a computer for a bit and quite frankly too busy (and confused) to give much detail about it. I have decided to just post this from an email I wrote someone else on here. There is no way I am texting it!
This is a situation we just had to give completely to God because it was out of our hands. At 18 weeks (on a Monday) they said the baby was measuring "a little small" and I needed to go to UAB for genetics testing (they have better measuring equipment and they do downs and trisomy testing) I went in and tested positive as a chance for Trisomy 21 (downs syndrome) or Trisomy 18 (Incompatible with life - a death sentence) So I went back that thurs for an Amnio but they couldnt do it because there was a 12 inch blood clot that had not been there just that Monday! I had had a hemorrage and they didn't know why. Something was wrong with my placenta was all they knew. They did a placenta biopsy which is better than an amnio but harder to get the tissue samples than some fluid. Baby's results were perfectly fine. All her chromosomes were normal so no trisomy and she passed her tests great! My mom and I went back every couple weeks to get ultrasounds on Harper. The blood clot gradually faded but the baby wasn't growing at the right rate. They have certain percentiles for babies height and weight during gestation. for whatever week she was in, she was smaller than what she should be. They said my placenta was not keeping up with the needs of the baby and eventually her growth would completely stop.
They knew they would have to deliver her early. They kept telling me "we just need to make it to 28 weeks!" then to 32 weeks. etc. those are the milestone numbers. The first time I went she was in the 30th percentile. they start getting concerned around the 15th. Everytime I went, it got lower. 15th,12th, 6th then 4th. But she was doing SO well on her stress test and her monitoring. They said bedrest wouldn't help me cause it had nothing to do with whatever was wrong with my placenta. My local OB (Dr Newman -who was wonderful through the whole thing and while the UAB drs never agreed he was reassuring and RIGHT everytime!)) admitted me into the hospital at 30 weeks because I had to get steroids. He knew they would have to deliver the baby if she got any smaller than 4% so he wanted to help her lungs. (I had developed gestational diabetes and the steroids make blood sugar go through the roof! so I had to be monitored in the hospital for a few days while they administered them). I went back to UAB at 34 weeks and Harper was measuring at <1%.>
We found out after delivery that 25% of my placenta was completely dead. No wonder she had IUGR! (intrauterine growth restriction) BTW we learned lots of new medical terms and conditions through all this. mostly from googling - very dangerous!
She went straight to the NICU, which we knew she would. What we didn't know was how freakishly well she would do! At 6 weeks early, she wasn't the youngest baby in there but at 2lbs 12oz and 15in long, she was the smallest! "What a fighter!" the nurses all said. She was breathing on her own. No vents! Just a standard IV and a feeding tube down her nose/mouth because they don't start sucking/breathing/swallowing coordination until 35 weeks. She only had those for a few days. For the first week she was on the critical side of the NICU until they removed her feeding tube and IV then they moved her to the "closer to going home" side where she was a little more independent.She was in an Isolette to regulate her body temperature because she was so little. Most babies can't do that well until about 4.5lbs. During the next 2 weeks, they monitored her vitals, and removed the Bili lights (for jaundice) and eventually weened her off the Incubator. Her doc says usually babies regulate their temps at atleast 4 lbs but they had it on the lowest setting and she was basically doing it herself. She was doing it at 3 lbs! After 3 and a half weeks they released her to come home! They said she was the smallest baby they had released!
Life in the NICU is enough to write a book on so I won't go into all those details. I will say that it was such a comfort to know what good hands she was in and most of the nurses seemed to be sensative to your situation and your need for information and reassurance. Most people say "I don't know how you do it." I would be breaking down" I kinda did one time when I missed her first feeding because they had a new admission (twins born at 24 weeks that were transfered somewhere else so it took all day!). But really I didn't have time to. I had a job. I was her advocate there. I joke and say they have their medical degrees, but I have a degree in the wellbeing of my child. At one time the x-ray tech came in to do an ultrasound on her head. I was feeding her with my hands through the little holes of her bed and the tech asked me to finish later. Um no! So she goes to the other side and lets down the whole wall of the isolette. Harper starts shaking as I am finishing and I shut my portholes. I tell her and the nurse the baby is cold and she says "No it's just her reflexes." Then the alarm on the isolette goes off and says "BABY COLD". So they shut the isolette.
I think the hardest thing to deal with in the NICU is the constant worry. at first about her chances of survival, and later about the future, her future. (Still a worry.)
Besides worry, 3 things I can pinpoint based on our comparatively short 3.5 weeks there:
1. Overwhelming introduction. It's so hard to see any baby hooked up to those monitors and machines, let alone, your baby! I tried not to pay too much attention to them but you get used to it. My mom wanted to know everything about the babies (against the rules) but she was just falling in love with them all. Some nurses (usually night nurses) would talk ;)
2. Absolute lack of control. Over the situation and the daily care of your baby. You are kinda robbed of those snuggling and bonding moments when they are hold up in an incubator. You have to ask to hold them (and get told NO) so you sit and stare and learn as much as you can to take some of the nurses responsabilities just to feel like an important person there. You can only do a few things so you take pride in taking her temp, changing her diaper, and bottle-feeding her! You can't nurse them and maybe it's just me but it's hard to get up at 2 am to snuggle with a breastpump. That crying is definitely better motivation than an alarm clock. But you do it because that is the one thing ONLY you can do.
3. And of coarse regret! Not just about how you could have prevented it (you probably could not have), or how your body failed the baby, but also for not being able to stay there 24/7. I was there probably twice a day but the times would alternate and I can assure you NO ONE was camping out or there all the time. You couldn't be unless you had no other children, a maid, a chofer(sp?) and were rich or didn't work. Then you feel bad for the slack going on at home too. Well I had slack!
What a long note! This is where Savannah gets it if you were ever wondering. But you probably have met me and therefore weren't wondering!
Harper Kate with all her chords and wires and bili-light shades.
Harper Kate finally going home!
Oh, and I am including my comments cause they were so sweet!
Marcia - What a fighter; she is SO beautiful!!!September 23, 2009 at 12:26am ·
Shnika - AWWWW, God take care of us all especially his little ones/she is a fighter. I can not wait to meet Harper :-) I know Savannah is loving every bit of her baby sister finally being at home :-)September 23, 2009 at 1:19am ·
Mandy -She is beautiful, Lisa. What an inspring story of a strong little girl and a mother who loves her more than anything. I cried when I was reading this.September 23, 2009 at 1:19am ·
Rachael -wow! she really is a fighter, isn't she! i'm so happy that she's okay and doing well. please keep us posted!September 23, 2009 at 7:55am ·
Niki -Lisa, she is beautiful. What a blessing from God! Your story is an inspiration to me even though I don't have kids. Giving it to God is what we must do in all situations, and God has blessed you tremendously. I will keep little Harper Kate (btw love the name) and you and Michael in my prayers. Thanks for sharing your story.September 23, 2009 at 8:02am ·
Jennifer- she is perfect in everyway! she has a reason to be here, and she is determined!September 23, 2009 at 8:12am ·
Ashley - She obviously gets her strength from her momma. You will all be in my prayers.September 23, 2009 at 8:13am ·
Gray - God Is So Good Lisa!!! He has been w/ her and you all thru this process and don't think He will leave you now...Thank you for sharing this and showing how strong you are..It gives me strength w/ my pregnancy knowing that this baby is a miracle and is in God's hands!!! I love you girl(even though we have never met) and I will pray for you and your family ;O)September 23, 2009 at 8:45am ·
Briana -thank you again lisa for posting this story. you don't realize how much it helps people who are in similar situation and find the outcome of your story so soothing. i'm six months today, just another three months to go. lolSeptember 23, 2009 at 9:33am ·
April - You have done an awesome job. I am so proud of you. I am glad we were able to go through our hospital stays together. Before we know it, Jacob and Harper will be in Bible class together and chasing eachother after church.September 23, 2009 at 9:53am ·
Lisa - Thanks all of you! We do feel incredibly blessed. It's amazing how much you love your baby even before you "meet"! I am so excited to have her here and just watch her grow! love ya'll!September 23, 2009 at 2:09pm ·
Joy - I am so proud of you! God is so good!!!September 23, 2009 at 3:51pm ·
Jane -Love you!! I can't wait to hold her!September 23, 2009 at 6:03pm ·
Lisa -Thanks friends. ♥ (that was said slowly with a head nod like Nancy Grace) Jane, get your flu-shot and come hold her anytime :)September 23, 2009 at 6:25pm ·
Lucy - I love Nancy Grace !! Baby Harper is home and we will see her In December. Love all you !September 26, 2009 at 1:45pm ·
Very soon after my last post last spring, we got this little guy. You may remember Maya... and the crazy neighbor? or the milk and raw eggs? how about this? Well the neighbor is still around but Maya learned to climb the fence after several previous attempts to run away. We tried and tried to keep her in but she just didn't want to stay so we let her go. Savannah freaked so we thought we would get a dog that was a little easier to train. Ha! This is Cooper. Our Beagle/birddog. And he is a mess! His adorable face has saved him many times :) He will be 1 Feb 14th and is finally crate trained. I don't let him roam the house alone because he is a little destroyer. But we are hoping he calms down a little one day. Yes he is nuetered. He usually comes when I call and he does get to play in the backyard but it has been too cold lately. Right now he is curled up in the recliner with me. Looking at him it is hard to belive all the mischief he gets into but OH does he! You see our lovely banister railing in the picture at the top of my blog? We have to take it down and completely re-build it. Thanks Coop! Also countless shoes, pillows, leashes (we have none left), cushions , rugs. He even tore down one of the boards to our privacy fence! The doberman behind our yard makes sure he stays in HIS yard though:) The sad part is, he loves sleeping on something soft. He fluffs a pillow before he lies down on it and whines at night for something soft in his crate (he has DESTROYED anything we put in it.) People say give him bones. He eats through those and ropes/chewtoys as fast as if they were cheetos, then starts on other things. For his Christmas present, I bought him a $30 crate cushion and a bottle of Bitter Yucky. I sprayed half the bottle on that cushion and couldn't put my hand NEAR my mouth for days! It was terrible! However he had shreaded his new chew toys and that cushion by that afternoon. ugh. I really thought I had it beat. But he is sweeeet and gentle and just loves me and my babies! Sara Faith will reach in and grab his food to hand feed him while he is eating and he doesn't mind it. He loves her because she is always dropping food :) This was a facebook status to day and it made me laugh:
