the Specifics.

These first blogs are short. I am either tired, or busy and in a hurry, or (less likely) I have not found a tangent to run off on.
I went to the cardiologist today. I did the treadmill stress test and I dont think I passed to well. He said there were some changes during the test that he wants to look at and gave me some meds for heartburn/ind because that could be the reason for the pain in my chest. "You are waaay too young to be having tests like these done!" I cannot say how many times I hear that everytime I go. Im sure it is nothing but the only other thing is to do the stress test with an IV and to monitor the blood flow from my heart. Sigh...it better be indegestion or something. I may have become somewhat of a hypocondriac after having the post partum heart problems. I think it may be a slight case of post partum depression. I get so consumed with what-ifs and I worry about EVERYTHING. I am happy (and have no reason not to be) and there are no thoughts of hurting myself or anyone else, just sometimes I cant find my way out of this slump. And the idea that somehow death is all around and imminent. I think maybe the realization that I am not as invinsible as I thought I was in my teens and early twenties. These complications just kinda brought it to life and in my face. Dea says I am spending too much time alone. she is probably right. Besides the gym and the occasional volunteering at school, it is just the baby and I.

Deborah (Mother-in-law Jr---no time to explain) came and watched Sara Faith while I went. I think she was less than happy with Grandma as she said she cried the whole time. She did the same thing a couple weeks ago with my mom. Savannah never did that. She did not care one bit who had her, as long as she was entertained. Correction unless Nana was around, she absolutely pitched a fit to be with her! And still at church never fails for her to ask to sit by Nana and go home with her...everytime:)

The fair is in town this week. I have not even thought about taking Savannah yet. Pirt (my husband, aka Michael:) ) does not want to go. Maybe this weekend. Time to wake up Sara Faith and pick up Savannah from school. Yay!